


What We Have is You

by CrackheadMossMan



Series: HLVRAI Mermaid AU [4]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I promise, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Read the ocean isn’t so scary first or this might not make sense lol, Reunions, There’s quite a bit of angst in this one, Y’all wanted a Joshua and Gordon reunion here it is, but also fluff, i got carried away, mermaid au, takes around 18-20 years after the OG fic, this wasn’t going to be two chapter originally lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrackheadMossMan/pseuds/CrackheadMossMan
Summary: It had been 18 years since Joshua first got the e-mail from his father. It had only been 4 years since he joined the Lambda Complex, a group dedicated to cleaning up after Black Mesa. After going on a quick mission to find the coordinates of 2K-BASE-A, Joshua found something else.Someone he never thought he’d see again.
Series: HLVRAI Mermaid AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815016
Comments: 52
Kudos: 585





	1. Crush Depth

Black Mesa was a research facility that specialized in investigation of the unknown and using their newly-gained information to “help humanity progress”. However, if you asked Joshua or just about anyone in the Lambda Complex they’d call that bullshit and say they specialized in manipulation and taking advantage of people. Which was why the LC focused primarily on cleaning up after Black Mesa’s messes and failed science experiments after it’s destined fall due to bankruptcy, and trying their best to help the victims who suffered from them as best they could. Which was why Joshua Freeman was currently on the quick mission of finding the exact coordinates of the infamous 2K-BASE-A and scanning the area to make sure it was safe enough so that they could bring more LC members down and clean up the mess Black Mesa had made. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in the submarine, but one thing he was pretty confident in was his safety. Despite being 1,500 meters deep in the ocean, the Lambda Complex made sure he would be safe in any situation. He had taken combat training, diving classes, a few classes on how to repair the sub in case of damage, and on top of that he had a mostly stable connection to the home facility back on the surface and a sonar that would register any living organisms as well as Black Mesa technology. The submarine was much stronger than Black Mesa’s, the metal exterior tough and stern, a strong engine and VERY durable windshield, and even some room for the 22 year old to pace around the submarine when he was bored and while the large vehicle was on auto-pilot. 

So why was he on this mission? Was it because he specialized in any marine related missions for LC, or was it because of pure chance? Joshua wasn’t assigned to the mission, he was a volunteer for it, offering he could go. He made sure to join the LC after finding some very old research papers in his mother’s desk with Black Mesa written on the top in bold, and his father’s name written on it as well. Apparently she kept it after getting his father’s last words to them. Joshua actually kept a small printed copy of the e-mail on him at all times for comfort reasons. That e-mail was why he volunteered for the mini mission. He wasn’t here just to get the coordinates of the base, he was here to get information on the mystery of what could have happened with his father and to hopefully find a clue, because Joshua was  _ certain  _ that the constant talking of the ocean and papers for Black Mesa weren't just coincidence. Joshua’s pacing around the submarine got cut off when he heard a certain beep from the submarine’s sonar. 

Now there were quite a few different beeps that indicated different things with this specific version of the sonar: A short and sharp _ BIP  _ meant a small life form. Normally just a fish or plant. It was the kind he’s been hearing for the whole trip. A long, dragged out and low pitched  _ beeep _ was a much bigger life-form. Normally around the size of the average adult human and larger. And the last one was more of an alarm than a beep, and that signified the location of Black Mesa tech. Joshua quickly rushed to the windshield of the ship and grabbed the wheel of the ship when he recognized the dragged out and low beep on top of a few bips. He kept one hand on the wheel and pulled the massive vehicle to a stop, and quickly flicked off the auto-pilot switch and switched on the lights for the sub. There was no hesitation as Joshua started to turn on the camera to the submarine, looking from the flickering screens to the sonar. There was a large dot on the very edge of the sonar’s screen, and Joshua was fairly certain that it was the sound’s source. 

The volunteer quickly scrolled through the different cameras’ videos, eyes scanning them as extraordinarily fast times, before flicking to the next camera. Once he got back to the first camera, Joshua switched the flashlights back off and turned off the screens. He looked back at the sonar. It read 1,978 meters and the large dot had disappeared.

False alarm, which Joshua couldn’t pay too much attention to. For all he knew, it was probably a frilled shark or whatever the hell was down here, and he was also getting closer. He switched auto-pilot back onto the sub, and entered the coordinates he was given to check for the base first. Of course, it wasn’t the exact coordinates. It was just the best place to start looking. It wasn’t much longer until the sub reached the destination, and honestly Joshua couldn’t wait to find the stupid cryptic base, find a few clues, and get the hell out of here. He knew what his father said in the e-mail: that the ocean wasn’t all that bad, but he still didn’t like it sometimes. Also the diving suit he had to wear to ensure his safety felt ridiculous. It was heavy and very thick, it made it awkward to walk around, and the flippers on his feet made him feel like a waddling duck whenever he attempted to walk. At least he didn’t have the oxygen tanks and helmet on at all times, and he could just leave them sitting on the rack that was only a few feet away from him. 

Joshua felt the submarine slow to a stop as it reached the destination, and the alarm he had heard so little times came from the sonar.  _ Black Mesa tech,  _ Joshua thought, biting down a laugh as he awkwardly half ran half waddled from his pacing circle back to the windshield and control desk. He looked at the sonar, smiling at a very large and blinking Black Mesa logo on the screen. Yep, it was the tech alright. Joshua flicked off the auto-pilot of the submarine and started to manually steer the submarine towards the tech, excitedly tapping the large flippers against the metal floor. 

Despite the tech location being at the very edge of the sonar screen, meaning it was decently far, Joshua got the sub there in no time at all. What could he say? He was impatient when he got excited. Once he was close enough to the dot, he listened to the alarm die down and flicked on the flashlights once again and there it was. The infamous and abandoned 2K-BASE-A, that lied 2,094 meters underwater at- oh shit he should be writing this down. Joshua fumbled through the desk, quickly pulling out paper and a pen, scribbling down the depths and co-ords of the base. He did the most important part, and now it was time for his personal mission: to find any clues leading to what could’ve happened to his father. There was no hesitation as Joshua ran to the rack, quickly scrambling to attach the heavy oxygen tanks to the helmet and suit. He struggled a little, but once he heard the sweet start up noises of the suit and the hissing of the oxygen, he was ready to go.

If he had put on the suit just a few seconds after, his hearing wouldn’t be muffled enough to where he could actually hear the low dragged out beeping of an approaching organism. However, the oblivious kid didn’t, and quickly made his way to the air-lock and exit hatch of the submarine so he could explore the abandoned base.

𓆝 𓆜 ––––———–––––———–┊⁀➷

Gordon had been watching the submarine from a distance for a while, now. It was his turn to scout around the edges of the school’s territory, and as a newbie leviathan and someone who could barely stomach looking at submarines now, it wasn’t a nice surprise to see a submarine just stroll far too close for comfort to his territory. He was still very rusty at using the voice that Benrey had passed onto him once he gained the rank of leviathan, so out of fear Gordon was forced to watch the massive sub from a distance, too much of a coward to do anything himself yet. Part of him wanted to go get Tommy for help, but the other part of him didn’t want to think of the possibility of the coming back to the submarine gone and out of sight. The once-human shivered at the thought of that. 

So, Gordon kept to keeping a close eye on the sub, quickly crawling along the rocks and sand to keep up with it, and he could feel his chest tighten and his heart sink when he saw where it had stopped. That fucking deep sea base.  _ The fucking base that RUINED his life- the base that fucking killed so many people- what the FUCK was Black Mesa planning now?  _ The moray’s pupils dilated to a barely visible slit as their claws dug into the rocks they were sitting on. Any fear the moray felt from the situation quickly dissolved into anger as he watched the Black Mesa diver leave the submarine and make their way into the abandoned base. 

He wasn’t going to let them fucking repair it- he wasn’t going to let Black Mesa hurt anyone anymore, ESPECIALLY his school and any other poor victims they plan to shove down here. Gordon only used his mutated voice on fish for practice, and now it was time for him to actually put this power to use. He quickly started to crawl along the seafloor, making his way to the base and the diver fast and making sure to avoid detection as his tail pushed him forward and he used currents to his advantage. 

He wouldn’t let Black Mesa hurt anyone else.

Not again. 

𓆝 𓆜 ––––———–––––———–┊⁀➷

Joshua quickly swam into the base, clicking on the waterproof flashlight he was supplied with to make traversing the darkness and base a lot easier. There was a vehicle dock, one that was a little too small for the submarine, but it made a perfect quick entrance into the flooded and ruined base. Joshua wasted no time in starting his search for a clue, starting with just shining the flashlight around the floor and on the walls as he swam around the vehicle dock. There were a lot of dents in the metal of the dock, making Joshua wonder just how the base stayed down here and didn’t collapse in on itself due to the crushing pressure. As the strong light of the flashlight shined on the floor of the base, Joshua couldn’t help but cringe at the sight of the stained blood. Jesus— how much blood did a person have to lose for it to still be stained almost 20 years later even after being drenched in water? Joshua forced himself to not think about, since he had to make this search as quick as he could. He didn’t want to keep the LC waiting, and he was still semi creeped out by how pitch black everything was down here. 

So, Joshua used the light to shine on the walls again, looking for the vehicle dock’s entrance to the other rooms. He quickly found it, a large smile forming underneath his helmet, and he swam in, slowly kicking his legs so he could closely analyze the walls and floor of the base so he could pick up something other than stained blood. So far nothing, aside from the tiny bits of algae floating around. Then, he came across a circular hallway, where the walls and ceiling weird replaced with glass. It probably would’ve looked pretty if it wasn’t 2,000 meters underwater and in complete darkness. Nothing interested Joshua, as he started swimming to the end of the hall until he saw it.

A very large crack in the glass, with a crossbow bolt sitting on the floor underneath it, very tiny glass shards scattered around it. “What the…” Joshua mumbled to himself, only bubbles escaping from his helmet, and he swam a little closer. He reached to pick up the bolt, running his fingers along it. It looked like one of the ones they had found in old Black Mesa locations. Joshua frowned looking at it, then thinking back at the stained blood. He wouldn’t be surprised if those two were connected with his dad. He shivered a little, tightly gripping the bolt.  _ God,  _ he wanted to throw it away and leave it but he knew he should keep it. It could have some sort of fucking information that they could use, and if something happened he could defend himself. 

…

Hopefully nothing would happen. 

He kept a tight grip on the bolt, and continued to search the base. He followed the eerie glass hallway to another room, and was  _ fascinated  _ with it. The light shined on some old tables and horribly out of date computers and monitors. Of course, they were all broken, but that didn’t make it any less cool. He moved the flashlight around a little more, and his eyes lit up at the sonar system they had. It was old, out of date, and broken, but that’s what made it so cool. Wait— no- he was here to find clues about his dad. So that’s what he continued to do: he swam around the room, flashing the light on the walls and floor, trying to find something. He found a few parts of a prototype diving suit that was very similar to his own, and he thought there was nothing else until he saw it. Something reflected back the light, and it was tucked behind the monitors to where it would be barely noticeable. Curious, Joshua swam closer, and adjusted the crossbow bolt to where it was underneath his arm. Then, he grabbed the item and took out… a picture frame. 

He squinted a little, before remembering he had a flashlight and shining the light on the frame. It was of a guy he didn’t recognize. They were probably a Black Mesa scientist or a loved one. Joshua frowned, feeling pain prick at his chest as he thought about what could have happened to them. He didn’t want to think of what, but he knew Black Mesa had something to do with it. Joshua put the picture frame underneath his arm, and the bolt back in his hand. He was keeping this. He and many others had habits of bringing back items from the victims in hopes of identifying them and returning to items to the victims (if they were alive; most of the time they weren’t) or giving them to their remaining family. Joshua’s depressing train of thought stopped when he heard the warning beep and the robotic voice quickly after.

_ “WARNING: OXYGEN LEVELS LOW: OXYGEN IS AT 30%. ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 8 MINUTES.”  _

The suit informed Joshua, and he sighed. Looks like he’d have to return to the sub and get a refill before exploring the base any farther. At least he’d be able to give LC a quick update as he waited for the oxygen tanks to refill. He smiled a little, pushing back the dark thoughts and trying to focus on the positives. He had to do that a lot since he had gotten the e-mail. Joshua turned to leave, and froze. There was somebody else- er- more like something. The top half looked human (and vaguely familiar), with glasses and a slight beard, brown hair floating in the water and tied back into a ponytail, large fins where ears should be spread out, and an angry and unsure expression on their face (not good). They had webbed fingers and sharp claws (VERY not good), and a large tail that looked like it belonged to an eel. This… this wasn’t good. Joshua watched as the creature- no wait- a  _ siren-  _ there were rumors of the infamous base being used to study sirens but he thought that part was  _ fake _ . Joshua could feel his heart start racing as he tried to keep his breath pattern from spiraling out of control from fear. He watched the siren’s eyes quickly move to the crossbow bolt, and they scowled, lips pulling back just enough to reveal extremely sharp teeth. 

Not good. 

“You bastards finally came back to finish us off, didn’t you?” 


	2. We Are Not Alone

“You bastards finally came back to finish us off, didn’t you?” The siren snarled, fins widening as it got more aggressive. Joshua attempted to swim backwards and away from it, but he could barely kick his feet from the paralyzing  _ fear  _ he felt as he could do nothing but watch the large siren creep closer. Speaking of the siren- Joshua couldn’t shake the strange feeling of familiarity with this creature- the voice and ESPECIALLY the face seemed so familiar to him and he couldn’t figure out  _ why.  _ He didn’t get much time to think about it, since the siren was still getting closer, backing Joshua against the wall of the base and shouting at him. 

“I’m not going to let you take back this fucking base. I’m not going to let you hurt us again,” the siren growled, furrowing their brows and revealing their teeth more. Joshua tried to think about what they were saying, but honestly he could barely even think in general. He had to get out of here. He had to get to the submarine, he needed to refill his oxygen and get the hell out of here, he needed to  _ warn  _ Lambda not to send people down here, it was unsafe, and-

“You  _ fucking asshole,”  _ the siren snarled, voice dripping with venom and pure rage. Joshua immediately recognized what the siren was focusing on, as he followed the siren’s enraged gaze to the picture frame he was holding. Joshua opened his mouth to speak, before realizing the helmet would just numb and mumble any attempts at speaking. Then the siren started moving, lowering their self against the ground and Joshua  _ immediately  _ recognized that as getting ready to lunge, and prepared to defend hims- holy fucking shit the siren was missing a h-

Joshua’s train of thought was abruptly cut off again, this time by the siren lunging at him. He yelped from surprise, and barely reacted in time enough to point the bolt at the siren that was basically the equivalent of a toddler waving around a pencil. The siren reacted immediately, eyes widening and pupils shrinking at the sight of the bolt, and quickly swimmed back. There was much less anger in its face and more fear, and Joshua would’ve felt bad but he was much more focused on surviving. Joshua started an attempt to slowly inch away, back pressed up against the wall of the base and kept the bolt pointed at the siren, who seemed extremely conflicted and tense. It’s eyes kept on bouncing anxiously from Joshua, to the bolt, to the photo frame. It felt like a dog circling its prey, and Joshua looked towards the exit for a split second. It was too far and he knew he wasn’t going to out swim a fucking siren. Then Joshua felt the texture of what he was leaning on. The arm carrying the flashlight was pressed against a cold cracked texture. One entirely different from the walls of the base.  _ Glass.  _ His arm was on a cracked portion of the window. Joshua looked at the glass then the siren, who was lowering himself again and preparing for another lunge. 

_ Fuck- fuck- fuck- wait.  _

Joshua looked back at the hand holding the flashlight, then at the siren. 

_ This thing has been down here it’s whole life. It hasn’t seen any bright light before. _

He started to shift the flashlight quickly in his hand so he could switch it back on with ease. 

_ It may be able to swim faster but I have an advantage.  _

Right before the siren could lunge again Joshua flicked on the flashlight and shined it in the siren’s eyes. It shouted in pain, recoiling and wrapping its tail around itself protectively as it shouted and scratched at its eyes with one hand, and rubbed with the stump. Joshua would’ve felt bad if he didn’t focus on turning the flashlight around and start ramming the bottom of it into the weakest part of the glass. Joshua wasn’t sure if it wasn’t luck, strength, or whatever that it shattered on the first try but he had an easy escape now since there was a hole in the window with shards of glass floating around.

He heard the siren groan in pain, muttering something to itself. And god, that voice- he could swear he’s heard it before. He didn’t have time to think about it though, so Joshua quickly pushed past the cutting pain as he swam through the floating shards of glass, cringing a little as they cut through the thinner parts of his suit. He heard the siren shout something, but he was entirely focused on getting back to the submarine. Joshua kicked as hard as he could, swimming as fast as he could and struggling not to drop anything. He heard the siren shout in pain, and fought the temptation to look back. He won, and quickly managed to get to the submarine. He struggled to open the hatch, but got it open. The water flooded the airlock and he closed the hatch above him, and let the airlock drain the water. 

The second Joshua could be ripped off the helmet and dropped the flashlight and bolt, while setting the photo frame on the desk. He slammed his fist onto the button that connected him with the LC, and quickly started to take off the oxygen tanks so he could refill them. He wasn’t planning on going back, but he might as well. As he waited for someone to pick up, he quickly flicked on the cameras and started flicking through the screens. He turned on the sonar with his other hand and of course, the large dot and low pitched beep was there, and the dot was uncomfortably close to the submarine. As he flicked through the cameras, he spotted the siren. It was underneath the sub, holding its stump and shaking. Even through the shitty camera quality he could see the glass shards sticking out of its skin, mostly on their arms, chest, and tail. It looked so  _ painful _ , and Joshua couldn’t help but feel bad. It didn’t help that the siren looked uncomfortably familiar. There was a quick click of the radio connecting.

“Mr. Freeman, we’re connected now,” the person all the way back at the main base said. Joshua breathed a sigh of relief, and started speaking.

“I got the coordinates. I also found a few things in the base. It’s not safe but I’m in the submarine and should be… fine...” Joshua trailed off, noticing the siren wasn’t on the screen anymore. He glanced towards the sonar, and the dot was _closer_ to the submarine than before. “...fuck.” Joshua muttered to himself, quickly switching between the cameras before he saw it. The siren was by the hatch. 

“Mr. Freeman, is everything alr-” 

“Send backup its trying to get in the fucking submarine,” Joshua spat out in one quick sentence, before grabbing the crossbow bolt off the floor and knocking the frame off the desk in the process. Joshua could barely faintly hear the hatch open and the water pour in. He then heard the sound of the airlock starting to drain. Joshua didn’t hesitate to start typing in the running computer.

“I gave you the coordinates of the base. That’s where I am. I should be mostly fine, this thing shouldn’t be too dangerous out of… water…” Joshua trailed off as he heard something echo through the metal walls of the submarine. A beautiful enchanting song.

“Mr. Freeman, are y-“ Joshua hung up. He didn’t know why. He dropped the bolt and felt paralyzed. His heart was racing, and he felt so  _ afraid.  _ Joshua suddenly felt weak, his legs suddenly shaking and almost giving out on him. He shouted, grabbing onto the desk and trying not to let go and collapse onto the ground. There was pain  _ everywhere.  _ His eyes stung and he could feel tears start to prick at them, his right hand burned with awful pain, his arms and chest stung and felt like they had tons of tiny needles sticking into him. “Help…” he choked out, before his legs finally gave out and he collapsed, landing on top of the shattered picture frame (he was honestly grateful that the suit was thick enough for the glass not to puncture it). It hurt so fucking bad, but that familiar voice made it so much worse. 

“...you broke it.”

It was quiet, and once the singing stopped most of the pain stopped with it. “You… you broke it… why- WHY do you BASTARDS from Black Mesa have to break and ruin EVERYTHING?” The siren shouted, and Joshua started getting back up. He grabbed the bolt again with a tight grip, and looked at the siren, who was sitting a few feet away from him now. It was bleeding a lot and had tears in its eyes. 

“I’m- im not from Black Mesa-“ Joshua struggled to say, watching as the siren eyed the bolt and started to move away slowly. The siren looked… shocked for a moment, and looked over Joshua silently. 

“...the suit. You have the suit, the submarine, nobody BUT Black Mesa knows about the base-“ it stuttered out, and Joshua started to move away from the picture frame, groaning as he got off it. He noticed how the siren inched a little closer, like he wanted to grab it, but decided on staying a distance away from Joshua. 

“No- we’re trying to clean up what Black Mesa did… how do you even know about Black Mesa in the…” Joshua trailed mid sentence, and it started to click. The familiarity. He hadn’t seen that face in 18 years, and it didn’t look too different from how he remembered it. His eyes were much different from how he remembered. He remembered staring into them as a way to beg the man into giving him extra time to stay up late. He was missing a hand. He remembered holding the giant hand (or it seemed giant at the time) in his tiny baby hand to make sure he didn’t get lost. They used to have ears not fins. Joshua vividly remembered pulling on them whenever he wanted to wrestle his father. “first place…” Joshua mumbled out, feeling tears start to form in his eyes as he remembered and recognized the siren. 

He dropped the bolt again, trying really hard not to sob from the pure relief and happiness he felt. He finally found his father, even if they were nothing like how he remembered. Even if they were just trying to attack him.

“I can’t— I can’t fucking believe it,” Joshua spat out inbetween choked sobs, as he looked at the extremely confused and anxious siren. “You don’t… recognize me do you?” Joshua added, and attempted to wipe some tears off his face, but it proved useless as more kept coming. 

“Wh- no- what the hell do you-“ Then Joshua saw as the siren‘s—  _ Gordon’s  _ face changed to pure shock as he realized. It took him a moment to recognize Joshua, but when he did he looked horrified. “I- Joshie?” He quietly asked, and he didn’t look as happy as Joshua did when his kid nodded. He started trembling, the fins on the sides of his head falling down, and his tail wrapped around himself tightly. Joshua froze, confused at the reaction of his father. He… he always thought he would be happy to see him again. 

“I- I can’t- I’m-“ Gordon stuttered out, wiping at his eyes with his hand as he struggled to speak through the tears. “I fucking- I tried to  _ hurt  _ you.”

Oh. 

“H- Hey- G- Dad- dad it’s fine,” Joshua tried to explain, getting up and walking towards the trembling siren (okay he’d have to ask Gordon about that and the hand another time apparently). Joshua frowned when they flinched away from him, and tried moving slower. He would ask what happened in the time he was gone for him to be so afraid, to be so violent about Black Mesa but he already knew the answer. 

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry- I’m so fucking sorry-“ Gordon sobbed, the tail curling around himself even tighter as he tried not to cringe in pain as his shoulder shook with the heavy sobs and dug the glass shards in deeper. 

“Shit- uh- Dad- dad it’s fine- I promise- Im fine- oh- shit… let me- let me fix you up, please,” Joshua said, slowly and cautiously walking towards the si- his  _ father _ , trying his best now to alarm him or make him feel any worse. This was… not how he expected a reunion with his father to go. Gordon nodded, sniffling a little. 

Joshua looked around, before spotting and walking over to the rack. Thankfully, the first-aid kit was still there. He quickly went to grab it, before freezing. Oh yeah. He called for back-up. Shit. Joshua basically sprinted to the radio, slamming his fist on it and waiting for them to pick up. Thankfully, they picked up almost immediately. 

“Mr. Freeman?” They started, and Joshua ignored how Gordon perked up a little like they were talking to him. “Are- are you okay? Do you have an update on your situation?” 

“Yes. Things are… fine, now. There’s no need for back-up, I promise,” Joshua tried his best to explain, scraping his brain for a lie. 

“...then what happened?” They asked, and Joshua sighed. 

“I thought I saw something weird, and it  _ was  _ attacking me, but once I got in the sub I was fine. I thought it was some weird creature, but it was just a big fish. I don’t recommend the investigation and mission yet, this place isn’t the most safe… or stable. We should push it back,” Joshua struggled to explain, trying to do his best professional and totally not lying voice.

“...did you find anything about your father?” The person on the other line sadly said, like they’ve guessed nothing was there since the beginning and didn’t want to break it to Joshua.

“I uh… I actually did,” Joshua turned back to see Gordon, but the eel was gone. Joshua immediately panicked, and quickly turned some more to see where the fuck he went, only to see that he managed to crawl right next to him. He was curled back into a loose ball, and quietly shoving the broken glass away from the shattered picture frame. 

Wait a second.

There were two pictures in it. 

Joshua watched as he moved the one of the scientist he didn’t recognize to the side, and picked up a picture. A picture of himself and Joshua. It was the day on the beach. Joshua couldn’t help but smile fondly, and started to speak again. “It’s just an old picture, but at this point I’ll take what I can get,” Joshua lied.

“Ah.. well that’s good to hear, Mr. Freeman. Take your time, or hurry back if you’d like. You had us quite worried,” the other person laughed, and Joshua chuckled. 

“Thanks, dude. I’ll hurry back soon. I’ll see ya’ when I see ya’ I guess,” Joshua said, waving goodbye to the radio despite knowing they couldn’t see it. 

“Goodbye, Mr. Freeman,” the other person said, and Joshua let out a sigh of relief once he heard the click of the radio’s connection ending. Joshua turned back to Gordon, who was just looking at the picture. Joshua smiled, and grabbed the med lot before sitting down next to Gordon cross-legged, so he could help with his father’s wounds a little easier. 

“You’ve really changed a lot,” Gordon said quietly, looking from the picture to Joshua like he couldn’t believe it. Joshua chuckled, setting the medical kit on the ground and opening it. 

“I could say the same for you,” Joshua laughed, before grabbing some gloves and pulling them onto his hands. Gordon awkwardly chuckled, before weakly raising his arm to wipe at his eyes again, sniffling. Joshua grabbed the end of the stump with his gloved hand, and gently pushed it down. 

“Try to stop moving, okay?” Joshua chuckled, before starting to try and take out the shit ton of glass shards scattered around his father’s arms and chest. Gordon nodded, and hissed in pain when Joshua plucked one out with his hands. 

“Usually I’m the one helping the others— ouch— with the medical crap,” Gordon said as Joshua continued to gently pluck out the glass shards. Joshua raised a brow, as he took out the last of the glass shards on Gordon’s left arm. 

“Others?” Joshua asked, gesturing for Gordon to give him his right arm, which he did. Joshua frowned seeing the stump, and Joshua wondered what the fuck happened for him to lose a  _ hand.  _ He shook that thought away though and tried to focus on the task.

“Oh yeah— jesus this is going to be a lot…”

Joshua found it oddly calming listening to his dad ramble on happily about his ‘school’. He found it fascinating that in the time he’d been gone he found a new family in a bunch of… mermaids. He still couldn’t get over that fact: that mermaids or sirens were  _ real _ , and the rumors weren’t just rumors.

“—oh and the oarfish leviathan is actually… kind of my partner, now?” Gordon finished up, and Joshua froze for a second, before plucking out the last of the glass shards, starting to laugh. 

“So when do I get to meet my new step-father?” Joshua teased through giggles as he started to apply pressure to the various wounds. Gordon stuttered out a few various sounds, struggling to come up with a response, before laughing as well. 

“Another time— but I want to hear about what happened while I was gone first,” Gordon chuckles got cut off by another hiss of pain as Joshua pulled away his fingers and moved to another cut. 

“Well… graduated high school a few years ago. That wasn’t fun, heh. It was so damn hot at the graduation, and I… barely passed, but I still did. Honestly I’m pretty sure I was closer to passing out rather than passing my classes,” Joshua chuckled, noticing how Gordon’s tail lightly tapped the floor of the base with a  _ thnk!  _ with every tap, kind of like an excited puppy. Joshua smiled again, moving to the last wound on the arm.

“Nothing much happened during high school or before. Had a few friends, drama happened, and I uh… kind of kept to myself? I was planning to go to college, but dropped that idea pretty damn quick, not gonna lie. Way too much money, and my idea for a future job changes every week. Oh— and I can drive now! Soon after I graduated… uh… Mom passed…”

“...Oh…” Gordon mumbled, looking down, the fins on the sides of his face dropping a little. Joshua frowned, and hesitantly put his hand on his father’s shoulder. Gordon looked up at Joshua, glasses crooked, and mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’ and Joshua nodded and grabbed the gauze.

“...what happened?” Gordon eventually asked, scratching at the end of his right arm. Joshua held out a hand for Gordon to rest his left arm on, and Gordon gave it to him. 

“Well… we weren’t exactly sure? She was fine a few hours before, and then… dead when we found her. I think it was something with her blood or heart but we never really found out…” Joshua paused for a second, noticing a conflicted and mournful look on Gordon’s face. “She missed you, y’know… when she got that email… she spent so long trying to figure out what happened,” Joshua said, offering a comforting smile as he wrapped up Gordon’s arm. 

“Oh…” Gordon quietly said to himself, and Joshua noticed how his father grew a little tense and the tail wrapped around himself a little tighter. So, Joshua tried changing the subject. 

“...after she died, the Lambda Complex contacted me. They told me they were a group who wanted to clean up after Black Mesa, since they went bankrupt. A lot of the people in it are actually old employees, believe it or not! They sent me here because they wanted to take apart the base and see if they could find information about the victims, and they needed the coordinates and see if it’s safe,” Joshua rambled as he finished wrapping up Gordon’s arm.

“...you should tell them they can’t come here. One of my… friends… really,  _ really,  _ doesn’t like humans. Even after I uh… became  _ this—“  _ Gordon stopped, gesturing to his tail. “He still didn’t like me. Honestly, we’re pretty damn lucky he didn’t see the submarine before I did,” Gordon forced an awkward laugh, before getting cut off by groaning in pain as Joshua started applying pressure to the wounds on the other arm. 

“...how did that even happen? And… your arm.. and why did you attack me?” Joshua asked, and started to regret it when he saw his father’s face. It was sad and distant, like he was looking through memories he didn’t want to. 

“...it’s my job. I.. uh.. just got promoted to leviathan, basically. It’s not the leader, it’s more of a… more of a guard. I basically protect the school, and… I didn’t recognize you. I assumed you were someone from Black Mesa trying to fix the base. I… I didn’t want them to do any more damage. And… when I  _ was  _ in the base I.. may have punched somebody who was trying to get the notes I took.. and I didn’t want them to find out about them… and they cut off my hand as a punishment. It… it wasn’t fun… soon after I found out Black Mesa was just… watching and waiting for me to rot in the base, so they decided to y’know… turned me into one of them so I could live, through a weirdass potion.”

Joshua didn’t say anything at first, just silently grabbing the gauze as he tried to let the information sink in. The more he thought about it, the more it sounded like some sort of fucked up fairy tail. 

“...the hell?” Joshua chuckled, holding out his hand and waiting for Gordon to put out his right arm so he could wrap it up. His father laughed as he gave his son his arm. 

“I know right? I gave up trying to understand it years ago,” Gordon chuckled and smiled a little as Joshua started to wrap it up. 

“So what were you planning to do once you actually got on the sub? You don’t have any weapons or… legs,” Joshua snickered, noticing how Gordon rolled his eyes. 

“I was gonna sing,” Gordon said, frowning as Joshua burst out laughing. “I’m being serious,” he added, failing to resist letting out a small chuckle. 

“Is that what I heard? You singing? I thought a possum crawled in here before I left and got stuck in the engine,” Joshua teased, and now it was Gordon’s turn to burst into fits of giggles as Joshua chuckled along. He finished wrapping his arm, and reached for the scissors to cut it. “No offense dad, but how would singing even help you in the situation?” Joshua asked, cutting the gauze and finishing up the arms. Then he started applying pressure on the few cuts scattered around his chest. 

“I can show you the more positive side of what it would do,” Gordon said, flinching a little as Joshua pressed down on another cut. “I’ve been needing to practice anyway,” he added. Joshua paused for a moment, thinking, before nodding. 

“Alright, go ahead, dad,” Joshua couldn’t help but smile as Gordon grinned brightly, obviously very excited. He finished applying pressure on the last cut, and reached for the pack of triangular band-aids, since it was a lot less cuts and didn’t need the gauze. As Joshua took out a few of the band-aids, he heard Gordon start to hum, and Joshua  _ immediately  _ recognized the tune. 

  
  


“ _ We may not have sunshine, or starlight, or weather,”  _ Gordon started, and Joshua had to admit, it sounded much better than how he remembered his father sounding. 

_ “But we’ve got each other, and that’s even better.”  _ Joshua listened to the highly nostalgic song as he gently put the last band-aids on the cuts.

_ “You don’t need the sun to keep you warm, when you’ve got arms.”  _ Gordon continued. As Joshua finished the last cut and was putting the band-aids up, he felt… more than just nostalgia. He felt… extreme relief, security, tranquility, and… and warmth. 

_ “Wishes come from you, and not a random shooting star.”  _ Joshua was mesmerized by the pure positive emotions he felt from the singing. He lied against the wall and closed his eyes as he listened to the enchanting singing. 

_ “We may not have storm clouds, but the sky’s always blue.”  _ As Joshua closed his eyes, he started to see images or memories… he wasn’t exactly sure, but it felt like daydreaming. But more vivid and real. Images of a much younger Joshua popped up, there was one from his 4th birthday. He chuckled a little, thinking of the memory. It was Gordon grabbing his arm and holding a fork, as Joshua had a large handful of cake in his hand, and there was icing  _ everywhere  _ on his face. God, he still remembered that long ass lecture about manners and eating with utensils that went on for what felt like an hour. He remembered ending it by pushing Gordon in the baby pool they had set up for the party. Thinking about it, Gordon probably fell on purpose, since he doubted a four year old could push him over that easily.

_ “We’ve got something special here, and what we have is you.”  _ Joshua let the positive feelings and memory overflow him. This was the first time he felt so… relaxed in years. He felt his eyes grow a little wet a tears began to form, and he started to realize just how much he really missed Gordon. It was… rough growing up without a father. Especially since it was just out of nowhere. One day things were fine. He was with his mother and he was excited to go see his father soon. Then they got an e-mail, and everything changed. It changed so quickly it barely felt real, like Gordon would come back and things would go back to normal one day. 

Joshua knew it was impossible for things to go back to normal, however…

He did have Gordon back. He had his  _ father  _ back.

_ “What we have is you,”  _ Gordon finished the familiar song that he would sing to nurse Joshua to sleep whenever he was having a fit. Once the song ended the positive feelings seemed to lift a bit and the memory playing in Joshua’s head faded. Joshua sniffled a little, the tears now rolling down his face. 

“Joshie- Joshie are you okay?” He heard his father ask, familiar parental concern and worry lacing his voice as he cautiously reached out to Joshua. 

Not giving his father much time to react, Joshua grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug and started crying into his dad’s shoulder. The siren flinched a little, but slowly wrapped his arms around his grown up Joshie, and started to cry too. He wanted this so badly, he  _ dreamed  _ of seeing Joshua again even if he knew it was next to impossible every night. 

“I missed you so much. I spent so much time trying to find something,  _ anything,  _ that would get me closer to finding out what happened,” Joshua sobbed, spitting the sentence out slowly inbetween choked sobs as he held Gordon closer, like he was afraid he would never see his father again if he let go. Gordon was grateful for the thick metal that the diving suit his son was wearing was made out of, since he was certain his claws would be digging into his Joshie’s skin if it wasn’t there. 

“I’m so fucking sorry- I’m sorry, I- I never should’ve left- I should’ve stayed- you deserved to have a better father- I-“ Gordon struggled to say inbetween his own heavy sobs, holding onto Joshua closely. 

“Stop- stop apologizing,  _ please.  _ It wasn’t your fucking fault, you did all that you could. You- you said- you said that you have a fa- school now, right? You have a partner, another  _ family.  _ You d-did your best, and you’re  _ alive,  _ and you basically gave the biggest fuck you to Black Mesa. And.. and I’m here now. And so are you…” Joshua rambled, struggling to find the right wording as the words fell out. He wasn’t sure if he made it better or worse when he heard Gordon start sobbing even harder. 

“...i- I’m so damn proud of you, Joshie,” Gordon choked out, sniffling as he struggled to stop crying. “I.. I couldn’t be more proud…” 

Joshua smiled at that, sniffling as well as he struggled not to cry. “...thank you, dad… but…” Joshua started, slowly and gently recoiling from the hug and wiping his eyes with the metal of his suit. Gordon’s yellow eyes were now red from the tears, Joshua noticed as he saw his father’s face. “...speaking of your school… maybe I could meet your new friends… just a suggestion,” Joshua sniffled some more, wiping his eyes and nose again. Gordon paused for a moment, before smiling a little, wiping his own eyes with his left palm, and quietly said, “...another time. I don’t think they’ll be too happy seeing me like this and with a submarine,” He awkwardly chuckled, gesturing to the bandages. Joshua nodded.

“...makes sense… and uh… do you need anything? Before I go,” Joshua asked. Gordon’s brows furrowed as he thought for a moment, then he shook his head.

“Nah. Next time do you come though, bring a shit ton of soda and human food. They’re like seagulls to a half eaten sandwich to it,” Gordon snickered, picking up the photo of himself and Joshua and looking at it again. Then back at Joshua. He couldn’t believe how much his son had grown. “And uh… keep this safe. And come back soon… please,” Gordon added, handing the photo to Joshua. 

Joshua smiled and nodded. “I will, don’t worry. Also…” Joshua said, holding out a hand for Gordon to take. “Let me help you. I’ll try to keep you all a secret from the LC, but… I’ll be back as soon as I possibly can. I’ll bring back a college party’s worth of junk food here as well… i promise I’ll be back…”

“...stay safe, Joshie. …and don’t forget how much you mean to me, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WAS REALLY DIFFICULT AND TOOK FOREVER SO IM REALLY SORRY IF IT ISNT GOOD OR IS KIND OF WEIRD IN SOME PLACES


End file.
